Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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