but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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