Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
