xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
