i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
