i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
