Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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