I'm going to jail i love you
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Houston, we have a squirter
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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