cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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