He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
