I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
