thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
