im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
