Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
