where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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