she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
my sisters under your porch take her home
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
