Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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