that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
