i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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