I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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