i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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