he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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