whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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