just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
