I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
