All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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