Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
