Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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