Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
