Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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