nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
