What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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