You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
