that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
