I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Randomize
