He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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