i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
