so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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