but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
