you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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