It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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