You're completely useless in the revolution.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
This is the high leading the old right now
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
