he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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