Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
