sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
