just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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