I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Randomize
