Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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