Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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