I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
