Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
