well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
