i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
