I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
