Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
