my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
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They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
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Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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