can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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