there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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