i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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