She even gives head with a lisp.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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