what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
