i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
