the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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