we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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