I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize