Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
