I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
