Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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