Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize