Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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