yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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