i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
