The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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